The budget crisis in California is out of control and regardless of the union and the districts issues, the true problem is our State leadership. How can this be? I have spent this entire year worrying about losing my job mid year, then receiving a pink slip for the end of the school year. And today the Governor wants to take even more money from Education. I am there every day and I work hours and hours and I am committed to my students. Even now when I know that in 8 weeks I will no longer have a job, I get up every day and do the very best I can for my students. Regardless of the good teachers and bad teachers, we can not continue to take away the things we know work in the classroom. If you put 45 desks in my bungalow, there will be no place to walk. The classroom will be no better than a jail cell and the students will travel from one cell to the next. Additionally, please imagine 225 essays, 225 books, 225 copies, 225 of everything the teacher will need or need to grade. My students are not gifted students, grading their papers requires I correct not only content, but spelling, syntax, grammar and the list goes on. Even my best students make countless errors. I already spend an exorbitant amount of time (my own time) grading. Now, granted, at the moment I don't even have a job for next year, but you get the point.
Now imagine 45 students in 52 minute increments, all who are 15 - 17 years old. Most parents have trouble dealing with the one, two or three they may have, but as a High School English Teacher, I deal with their family problems, boyfriend/girlfriend problems, bullying issues, racial unrest and the list goes on and on. How will this work, How can this be happening.
Our students deserve better, much better. We are leaving behind the changes we know are necessary in order for our students to be successful. Imagine all of these students on the street each and every day instead of in class where they belong. And, as if the drop out rate and failure rate isn't high enough already, what will happen now.
I am on the verge of crying, and have cried on and off this week and in particular since school ended today. Because of the class size increases, the small learning community I have worked in this year has been dissolved, and though I knew it was coming, it hit me so hard. This whole first year feels at the moment as if it were for nothing.
And yet tomorrow I start a class to help me improve the reading of my students. I am a teacher and it seems I can not deny that or change it and I don't want to, but please let this nightmare be over soon, because I am unsure on how much more I can take. My students ask me every day, "why do you have to be fired?" "why does it have to be like this." They think the system makes no sense and they feel no one really cares about them. So, tell me, how can this be?
