Loving Students

Today was an odd day at school. My students were worried about me. I was just tired. But I did remember my friend Fieron telling me that when I'm tired I look mad. So, today I broke the cycle. In all of my classes my students are working on projects at the moment. Today I showed them examples of my own work on their assignments. I forgot how much it helps them. But regardless, they are all working individually (mostly) and sitting in pods of 5 to 10. It allows me to move around and really work with each one. I like this most of all. They talk to me, they are not monsters and though I always love them, today I really remembered how much I like them. Even the annoying one who was suspended last week was okay today. He ditched most of his other classes, but came to mine. He did not do any work, but he received some praise any way. He knows a lot of the material, just does nothing, he did help one of the other students.

Today is also the day when I remember how nice it is to be at a school that at some point in time had money for technology. I have a mobile laptop computer cart in my classroom. Macbooks -- very cool. So, they were all typing up their projects, they take it very seriously when they have a computer in front of them. 

All this, you get the idea, I loved them and I liked them today. So, I go to the office about an hour after school is out for the day. First Celeste tells me she found me a hard core sub for me while I am at the CPA conference. I thank her and let her know the last sub had a very hard time -- my students were pretty horrible to her. Celeste and Liz both thank me for letting them know.  Then I walk in to the hallway and find Lucy (she was our office manager until the budget cuts made that position go away). She asks me if my classroom was still in one piece when I got back from my last conference. I say yes. She tells me she heard over the radio all the roamers having to go to  my room while I was gone. I am a bit stunned, but realize, that is just how it is teaching 10th grade.  

I then run into the ELL (English Language Learner) coordinator and she asks me how it's going ( she heard the previous conversation). I let her know they can be really horrible, but not so much for me any more and that I just try to remember to love them. I don't always like them, but eventually they will be 11th graders. She reminds me of this fact too. 

I do love them. They exhaust me. They can't seem to learn a lot is two words and they write like all assignments are text messages (though not as much any more), but they did correct the Lead Teacher in our Academy about the pronunciation of my name and they tell me I'm their favorite and they know I care.

I guess I don't suck completely, but some days as a teacher I feel like a fake. Other days, like today I feel good and I feel as if I am in the right place, finally.  I hope I get to keep my job in the fall.